For the Sake of Relevance

Deeply concerned about the amount of media attention given to the Emergent Church Movement and afraid of losing large numbers of Generation Y from their own churches, several mainstream denominations are secretly considering “re-branding” themselves.

Insiders to each of the following groups have anonymously claimed that:

Southern Baptists are in negotiations with the Regular and Freewill Baptists to become known collectively as “The Submergent Church”.

United Methodists, Churches of Christ (Uniting), Congregationalist and Unitarian Churches are discussing the possibility of forming a single “Convergent Church”.

Taking note of the rise of “new monasticism” and an increasing interest in the mystery of Eastern Orthodoxy among Generation Y Christians, patriarchs from the various Orthodox Churches are considering the moniker “Resurgent Church”.

Speculators in the web domain market have already registered the following domains in the hope that other Christian denominations will purchase them once they’ve decided which names best suit them.



Filed under Religion

2 responses to “For the Sake of Relevance

  1. Is this serious. The Emergent Church is about as Christian as Mormonism. Sad, Sad, Sad.

  2. no…it’s not serious…

    why do you lump the emergent church in with the mormons?

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